D-Day — Discovering the affair

Tuesday March 20th, 2018

  • 4:45am – Allie’s alarm goes off. It’s early. Allie wants to wake up and get her workout in before she heads off to work. It is kind of strange because she worked out about three hours the day before (on the 19th)  But I know she loves Crossfit and loves to exercise.
  • 5:45 am – Allie spent a good bit of time getting ready for her workout class. I didn’t look at the exact time she got out of bed after her alarm, but she probably spent 40 minutes getting ready. What ever happened to throwing your hair in a pony tail and hitting the gym?
  • 6:15 am – Class was to begin. Little did I know that there isn’t a Crossfit class at 6:15 on Tuesday. It is a TRX class. Allie doesn’t do TRX. But I was still pretty clueless at this point.
  • 6:45 am – I am out of bed and decide to head over to the YMCA where Allie is working out. Something seems “off” this morning. The YMCA is a 3 minute drive from our house. We live .7 miles from it.
  • 6:50 am – Class is going in the Crossfit / TRX room.  I park the car and look into the classroom. Because it is dark outside and light inside, I can see each person in there.  No Allie.  Where is she? Maybe she’s in the bathroom.
  • 7:00 am – I wait 10 minutes to see if she comes back to the class. She doesn’t. I wait another five minutes. Class is supposed to end at 7:15.
  • 7:05 am – After 15 minutes of watching their class I figure she’s not there. So, I drive around the entire YMCA parking lot looking for her car. It’s not there.  I decide to drive the lot three times to make sure I am don’t miss it. It’s not there.
  • 7:15 am – Head back to my house. I know she isn’t at the YMCA where she said she was going. I have to get my kids off to school so I need to get back.
  • 7:20 am – I know I am gonna have to confront her. So, I get the kids ready and start loading their books in my car.
  • 7:40 am – Allie is driving up.  I see her car coming down our street. Remember, by this time she’s been gone for about two full hours. (for an hour long class that is three minutes from our house)
  • 7:45 am – I ask her where she was? She replies, “I was at the YMCA.” But she has this look on her face that I just know. Wide eyed. I could tell she wasn’t telling the truth and of course I had been there and she wasn’t. I said, “no, you weren’t. I went to the YMCA and you weren’t there. Where were you?”
  • 7:46 am – Allie says, “I have been having an affair with someone. I was with him.”
  • 7:46 am – My heart smashed completely into 1,000 different pieces. I run the boys to school.
  • 8:00 am – I return to find Allie sitting on the couch looking so smug. She’d just communicated with Mark, her affair partner. But she hasn’t told me who or what.
  • 8:05 am – Heated discussion.  I tell her to pack her things. She says that “I didn’t sleep with him.”  (wasn’t true)
  • 9:00 am – By this time, the truth was out. I knew who it was. She told me. I knew some of the extent of their sexual interactions. I knew they’d had sex multiple times.
  • 9:30 am – I communicate with Mark via text. Since I know him personally I figure I should offer to tell his wife for him. You can read all of our texts from that morning here.
  • 10:00 am – Went to visit Carrie, Mark’s then wife. Told her about the affair her husband was having with my wife. She was understandably devastated. Shaken to the core.

Dear Mark

Dear Mark,

It is Sunday, March 25th. Exactly 5 days after I found out about the two of you cheating. Last Sunday at this time, everything was going okay in my family. We were probably grabbing some leftovers, maybe watching a movie that evening, and making some popcorn. I am so used to being with my boys and they’ve never seen me go to a job in their lives. I work from home to be with them. I love my wife; contrary to your belief.

I don’t know what drives a person – two people – in this case, to put a few moments of sex above all else. Sex is so short compared to the rest of our existence here on earth. Meaningless really. While I don’t know exactly how many times you two had sex, I have heard that it was three or four. Let’s take four as an example.

If it was four, then we’re looking at 1-2 hours tops of time actually having sex. So for 1-2 hours of building up your fragile egos, you two destroyed 38 years of marriage. Twenty for you and 18 for us. I can imagine that Carrie is shattered. Even if she puts on a happy face, she is devastated inside. How could she not be? She committed her life, her body, her everything to you and you decided to bed another man’s wife.

I was with Allie right out of grad school. She is a kind and loving person. She has a winning personality. But more than that, we’ve been through 18 years of really great and really challenging times. I have been there for my three sons’ births which happened in three different countries. I nearly delivered my three-year old as he exited Allie’s body — the one you so happily got yourself off with.

Maybe you don’t realize that there are 9 other people involved directly in this. My three kids. Your four kids. Your wife. Me. Nine lives that you gave no consideration to as you wooed her into the back seat of her car, called her, texted her, flirted with her and screwed her.

You have no investment in my family.  I have everything invested in them. You have no love for any of them.  I would die for each and every one of them, including Allie. I did die. I died Tuesday morning. After finding out that she’d been having sex with another man.

Since this is the second time it’s happened, I was a bit more emotionally prepared for it. I have only spent hours balled up on the floor crying.  I am sobbing at the loss that you have perpetuated on my family. I cry for all of the investment we’ve made in building our lives that was stolen from me for a couple of hours of you two getting your thrills.

It isn’t the sex for me. I have had lots of sex in my life prior to my wife. But when I met her almost 20 years ago, everything changed. I fell in love with her from the first moment I saw her and I have loved her ever since. I won’t ever stop loving her.

Your two daughters could very well have daddy issues from this. Your two sons could have latent intimacy issues that only show up later in life when they’re in a romantic relationship.

Real men don’t throw away families in the blink of an eye. The adult thing to have done would have been to go to your wife and ask for a divorce PRIOR to sneaking around. But you have no honor. The brave thing to do would have been to communicate with your bride about the temptations you were having. But you’re a coward. The man-like thing to do would have been to treat my bride, my wife with respect and honor. Instead you snuck around like a rat in a sewer. The husband thing to do would be to honor your commitment to your wife Carrie. I have only met her once, but she seems like a beautiful woman inside and out. I hated being the one that had to break the news that her husband was a cheating coward. But I knew from your texts to me that you would chicken out on that.

I hope you got the worth you were looking for. I hope that you get more than just bragging rights that you were able to convince my wife to sleep with you. Great job. Was it worth utterly destroying your wife’s confidence? Was it worth harming your kids’ future & their emotions? Was it worth your future reputation? Seriously? Two hours of excitement and validation? You’d have been better off hiring a prostitute. I would have cost a lot less.

Now, my life is in shambles. I am completely broken inside. The woman I love has given herself over to the one thing that would tear down everything we’ve built. In an instant, it is gone. I will forever have to explain to my sons what happened. I will forever have to question her.

They say it takes two people to make a marriage work. In this case, two people, caused irreparable harm to nine others. It only took one out of each marriage to destroy what was built. I hope that makes you proud.

How to deal with my spouse causing another couple’s divorce

If you’ve read here, you know that on March 20th, 2018 I caught my wife in her second affair.

Aside: If you’re cheating on your spouse right now or thinking of cheating on your spouse, HEAR ME NOW:  Cheating has life-long consequences. The choice you’re making that may last a few weeks or months will destroy lives. Your family, your children and the families and children of generations to come. The damage you do to your kids and the kids of the other family WILL be felt throughout the community at large. THIS IS NOT JUST ABOUT YOU.  IT IS FUCKING SELFISH AND SELF-CENTERED TO THINK THAT IT IS ANY DIFFERENT.

That being said, let me tell you where we are in our story.  My wife Allie had a two month long affair with a married man. He has four children and he and his wife would have been celebrating 20 years of marriage in August of this year. He is one year older than Allie at 43. Allie and I “celebrated” our 18th anniversary in March. Fortunately for me, she and Mark had “broken up” so that she could go on a trip with me to Park City UT. They got back together as soon as she returned to Idaho, but at least they weren’t together while we were on our anniversary. Note the sarcasm.

When I found out about the affair on the 20th – just 16 days after our anniversary – I asked Mark if I should tell his wife. As a matter of fact, I have screenshots of the text exchange.

My texts are in Green.  Remember, I know Mark so the affair texts start at “Should I tell your wife or should you?”

Fast forward to today.

I found out that on May 1st, Carrie filed for divorce from Mark. Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. “Good. He deserves it. Effing Bastard.”  Wait, that’s what I was thinking. LOL. Really though, this divorce filing has hit me pretty hard the last couple of days. Why? Well because everything I say about him is true of my own wife. If I say, “cheater deserves what he gets” then that is also true of Allie isn’t it? If someone says, “the affair was just the culmination of other, more serious issues in the relationship” then doesn’t our relationship have those issues too?

You see on March 19th, I thought we were doing pretty well. This affair surprised me.

It also bothers me that they’re getting divorced because frankly I am a bit jealous. Since d-day, I have asked Allie no less than five times to divorce. She has refused. Instead, she is remorseful and keeps thinking that our marriage will last.

Here’s a meme:

You see, no amount of sorry can make the plate the way it was before.  Just won’t happen. The plate can be repaired but it will be easy to see the brokenness and it may not function as a plate any longer. Even if it does serve as a plate, it may not be one you’d be proud to use at Christmas dinner. Most likely, you would throw the plate away after destroying it. This is what happens with affairs!  People throw away years and years of history. They purposely destroy the lives of others for their own selfish gain.

The last reason that I am bothered by the divorce of Carrie and Mark is that my wife played a HUGE role in the breakup. She is the homewrecker “other woman.”  Allie said to me today that she’s dealing with a lot of sadness for breaking up a family. (Mark’s)  But what about our family? The difference is that I am currently here. I am currently working on things with her. But that may not last forever. Yes, I am married to the “other woman” who, to this day, will ask me for compassion on her situation. Her situation? What was it exactly? She has the most devoted husband on the planet, three beautiful children, a great life, a great career, and pretty much everything she ever wanted. What is “her situation?”

If you’re reading this and have gotten this far you might be wondering, “why the eff are you still with her?”  Great question. Today, I would leave. Tonight I would probably stay. It’s as simple as this. Emotions in this suck worse than anything imaginable. They are a flip-flop roller coaster with no end in sight.

 

 

 

Getting what he deserves?

My wife of 18 years decided to have an affair with a married man named Mark. After their two-month fling with resulted in them having sex approximately four times, Mark’s wife decided to divorce him. On May 1st, 2018, Carrie filed for a divorce just three months shy of their own 20th anniversary.

Mark and Carrie have four children together and I think three are minors. I believe that one is older than 18. Carrie hasn’t worked since they had their first child just about 19 years ago. So, she is 100% dependent on him making money. Idaho is can be an “at fault” state with regard to divorce. One of the grounds for divorce is adultery.  From what I hear, judges in Idaho don’t look favorably on adulterers.

I don’t think Carrie will be happy with anything less than lifetime support, half of all marital assets (houses, business assets, personal property, etc.) plus support for the children. All in she’s probably looking at $4,000+ each and every month from Mark. Once the kids reach 18, child support probably ends, but the payments for college do not. At any rate, it’s gonna cost him for a long, long time.

I have to wonder: Was it worth it? I mean, I think my wife is gorgeous but no amount of sex is worth that much each month as a “payment.”  Was it a big ego boost? What in the world would drive a person to risk their marriage, the mental health of their children, their finances, their reputation, and their future? Some sex? A couple of months of feeling good? It is crazy to me.  I simply cannot fathom it.

Even if he was completely unhappy in his marriage to Carrie, wouldn’t it had been much better and more honorable to come to her and ask for a divorce citing his unhappiness? Believe me, I am asking the same questions about my own wife each and every day.

I would say it’s out of character. But is it? Maybe it’s in character and that is the precise issue. Perhaps that it is a deep addiction issue or a huge character flaw. Affairs aren’t normal. They aren’t. But there isn’t a simple solution.

Carrie found her solution. Divorce Mark. He deserves worse. But so does Allie.

 

Cost per sex

I carefully consider decisions that I make, something my wife, Allie, doesn’t do very well. As you know, Allie has had multiple affairs now and I am weighing the options of staying or leaving her. She is repentant and remorseful now, but it is not a foregone conclusion that I will stay married to her.

I was thinking about how much the sex cost Mark, Allie’s affair partner. Mark’s wife Carrie is divorcing him and she filed on May 1st, 2018. I am writing this on the 19th of May.

Allie reports that they had sex four times. Almost five, but Allie says she couldn’t go through with it the first time they met up. Twice Mark bought and paid for a hotel room with cash. Let’s say that cost him $130.00 with tax.  That’s $260.00 so far. Allie says she insisted that he wear a condom. So, unless he bought the value pack, that’s about $13.00.

The other three times, Allie says that they had sex in her car. That’s nice huh.  I get to ride around in that car and think about that crap.

Anyway, Mark is up to $273.00 for four times.  That’s about $68.00 per encounter.

But, like I said, Carrie is divorcing Mark. Mark and Carrie own their home outright. It is worth about $450,000.  (I am a Realtor and can look that shit up)

Carrie hasn’t worked since they got married nearly 20 years ago. They have four children. Three are minors. Thus, Mark is gonna be paying 100% of their care and child support. That will probably be about $2,000 per month. Sure, he was already paying that, but they were married. Now, he’s gonna be paying that while not being married.  If he wants to have a new relationship in the future, he will still be paying that and probably for another woman too. Expensive.

Carrie will get maintenance and/or alimony. That amount will have to do with 1/2 of Mark’s remodeling business. If he’s clearing $150,000 per year (wild guess), then she’ll get about $5,000-6,000 monthly.  Yep.  She gets half of the egghead’s income because that’s how it works here.

So, let’s just take a year at $7,000 per month.  That’s $84,000.  Plus $225,000 on the house and the couple hundred bucks he spent on the hotel and condoms.  Probably looking at $309,000 thousand dollars.

Divide that by the four times they had sex and you’re looking at about $77,000 per episode.  That’s a lot of dough.  How much is my wife’s vagina worth? I mean, she’s great and all but $77k per?  Yeah no.

Let’s say that he doesn’t have to pay that much in alimony and child support. All in, let’s assume he sends Carrie $4,000 monthly. Still sitting at $48,000 for the first year + half of the house. That’s $273,000 or about $70,000 bucks per fuck. That’s a lot of dough.

I get it. People are unhappy in their marriages. But just go tell your wife you’re unhappy. Still costs you money to get divorced, but when you commit adultery here in Idaho, the faithful spouse has you by the balls.

 

Mark is a narcissist

Narcissists enter into relationships in an attempt to fill this void and to make sure that they have someone who is always available for sex, an ego stroke or whatever need they may have.

Read this article.  It sums up a narcissist and how Mark was able to convince my wife, Allie, to have an affair with him.  He literally swept her off her feet with adoration.

Once a target has been chosen, it’s almost like the Narcissist gets tunnel vision. They are hyper-vigilant in their pursuit and will project the perfect image that their victim wants them to be. They are excessively caring, loving and attentive at this stage. They shower their targets with attention, compliments and literally sweep them off their feet.

They place their target on a pedestal, idolize and worship them. Their target is the greatest thing since sliced bread. Here the Narcissist is ecstatic, full of hopes and dreams. They will talk and think about them constantly, they are euphoric. This is as close as a Narcissist will ever get to feeling love. This kind of idolization is what others would call infatuation.

The victim is likely so caught up in all the attention and is usually thinking at this point, that they have found their soul-mate. Their pursuer is exactly what they want in a partner (because the Narcissist is mirroring what they have learned appeals to their target)

Each time Allie has journaled about the affair in the process of our counseling, she has described Mark exactly as this article describes him. He showered her with attention, affection and made massive efforts towards her. She was his target. His victim.

Many targets are left asking themselves, “Did he ever love me? Did I mean anything to him?” The simple answer is no. No one means anything to him. Women are only a means to an end – to obtain the much needed Narcissistic Supply.

What must be remembered is that you were deliberately targeted, lied to and manipulated by a skilled con-artist, for their own gain.

Allie fell for this con completely. Hook, line and sinker. She was completely caught up in the rush of this man risking everything for her. That he would give up his family, his life, his all to be with my wife was so attractive to Allie (who may be a bit narcissistic herself if I am honest)

Already he has assessed his target, and he is now mirroring her, so he is reflecting back to her exactly what she wants to hear. But he wants control over her. He wouldn’t have her full attention or control, if she were busy doing other things.

What Mark didn’t expect was that his wife of 20 years would file for divorce. He kept telling Allie that Carrie would forgive him. That all he needed to do was confess it and apologize and their marriage would be fine.

This is mind control. The message that you receive is:

  • He is really keen on me
  • He is really like me, we have so many common interests
  • You have known him for far longer than you actually have

My wife believed that. My wife believed that he cared for her. My wife believed (and probably still does believe) the compliments that Mark used to get her clothes off.  Here is more about the narcissist.

At the idealization stage the narcissist is not only generous in extending a compliment, he’s also gracious about accepting yours. You are special and therefore he is flattered by your expressions of high regard for him. The wonderful give and take nourishes you both.

Here are the texts between me and Mark on March 20th, 2018. This was the day I found out about the affair.

Here, the texting begins when I ask “So should I tell your wife or should you?” You see, I know Mark, so we have texted a few times before the affair was discovered.

Mark replies, “Nobody is trying to destroy your life. Are you trying to destroy mine?” Wait a second. Did Mark just try to shift a blame on me somehow. Now I am trying to destroy his life? Mark was in an active affair with my wife and he’s “not trying to destroy [my] life?”  Really. Then, the blame of “are you trying to destroy mine?”

No Mark, you are destroying your own life with your choices.  I don’t have anything to do with that.

Here we see Mark’s desperate appeal to me.  “If you destroyed my life, will that really satisfy you? And Kelli’s too, that what you want? That going to make things better?”

Still fixated with his life being destroyed. Funny, he didn’t think about that the EXACT SAME FUCKING MORNING WHEN THE TWO OF THEM WERE TOGETHER. Sorry, where was I?

Now, the LDS Mark is gonna try to pull out my Christianity on me. “you have a woman taken in adultery. Are you gonna cast the first stone.”

Earth to egghead. You are in adultery too. You took my wife there.

“I am just asking you to spare Kelli some humiliation, and me. You are not guilt free either. I’m sure that if you start down this road, you should be prepared to have your whole situation exposed..”

This is one of my favorites. He wants to spare Kelli some humiliation (and him) of course.  Then he tells me that I am not guilt free. But last I checked, I wasn’t in the hotel or car with them while they were having sex. Then one more threat of “having your whole situation exposed”  I am not 100% certain of what that means, but I took it as a threat.

“Please take some time before you make a hasty decision.” he requests. You can see my reply.

Then some remorse.  It was fake, but it is an attempt by the narcissist to get out of the cage they’re caught in.

“Your marriage is worth saving. And it’s possible. You can make an already bad situation much worse”  While I am not sure how I can make a horrible situation worse, Mike’s desperation is bleeding through.

I love the marital advice he gives though. He should become a marriage counselor.

This is when I knocked on his door and met his second son. I asked his son if his mom Carrie was home. He said yes and went to get her. Carrie and I hung out on the front porch for a few minutes while I shared what I had just learned about 2.5 hours prior.

Carrie is divorcing Mark now. Guess he was right. His life is getting destroyed.  What he was wrong about is that I was the one destroying it. He himself destroyed his own life. I had little to do with it.

I think that Allie still believes that it meant something. That it was real, in a fantasy sort of way. That he had feelings for her. Because he said that. He said that he was “developing feelings” for her. Why did he say it? Because she was telling him that she loved him and he needed to mirror back to her to make sure he wouldn’t lose his narcissistic supply…his cash cow.

 

Divorce for Mark and Carrie

Looks like it is official. There is an order in Mark and Carrie’s divorce case. I figured it would not take long since a stipulation was filed nearly a month ago. Basically, Mark realized he was screwed since he’d committed adultery. In Idaho, judges frown on infidelity and he wouldn’t win anything by battling it in court. He never even hired an attorney. Effing coward.

Instead, he curled up like a caged effing rat. Some would say he was brave to take his punishment. I say he was a complete idiot for screwing around on his wife of 20 years. And with a married woman. Karma is a bitch. Mark is gonna forever get to miss family events and it’s gonna cost him a shit-load of money. Maybe if there’s someone out here reading this blog who’s thinking of cheating, you’ll think twice. Or three times.

Mark gets to miss his kids growing up (at the very least 50% of the time)  My guess is that Carrie was so pissed that he may not have gotten that much custody. I don’t know for sure and may never know. Just a hunch.

I do know that the Idaho Child Support Calculator says he’ll be paying about $2,100 in child support. He will also be paying maintenance to Carrie because she literally makes $0 and has relied on his income for 20 years. How much in maintenance? Don’t know that either.  But it will be significant. Perhaps $2,000 per month? Perhaps $4,000? I do know that there is an unwritten rule where judges will award the non-cheating spouse up to 60% of the cheater’s income. Basically, if Mark’s business earns $150,000 annually, then $90,000 would go to Carrie and the other $60,000 to Mark. Mark was shacking up with his daddy last I heard, so his expenses are probably pretty low.

Must be a bit embarrassing to be a 45 year old man having to move back in with the parents.

They own their house outright. Yep. A $450,000 home fully paid for. My guess is the Carrie isn’t moving from her home. That would be expressly unfair. So, she probably gets the home. Now, she may have to buy 1/2 from him, or maybe not. I don’t know. Either way, that costs him a minimum of $225,000. Even if she had to buy 1/2 from him, she would buy it with HIS MONEY!!!!! LOL!  Because he has to pay her each and every month. He would effectively be buying his half of the home from HIMSELF!  What a fucking dumb-ass!  All for a piece of ass?

I am really glad that his wife took it to him by divorcing him. Sometimes people who think that highly of themselves need to be knocked off their high horse. That’ll teach you to mess with someone’s wife you piece of dog shit! Mark the narcissist, who thinks he so effing cool, gets what he deserves.

There simply is no way that it is worth it to screw around on your spouse. I don’t care what kind of excuses anyone gives me, it isn’t worth it. Divorce first. Once you’re divorced, then have at it. No one can convince me otherwise. There simply is NO EXCUSE for what he and my wife did.

Well, what about Allie you ask? What about the woman I am married to? The one I am still married to right now? Well, I am battling on what to do. Do I stay or do I go. Emotionally, it is the hardest thing I have ever been through. Currently, I am staying because of the kids. To help make me comfortable, Allie has agreed to a post-nuptial contract. I recommend one of those for everyone by the way — even if there isn’t infidelity yet.

 

 

 

The woman who ruined my marriage

I wrote on this before. My wife Allie had an affair with Mark. Mark was married to Carrie for nearly 20 years before they got divorced just this month. Carrie seems to be a very sweet person. I met her in person once on March 20th, 2018. That’s the day I told her about her husband and my wife having an affair.

This past weekend (June 4th, 2018) Carrie unfriended me on Facebook. I don’t ever care about stuff like that, but I knew it is because I am currently staying with Allie. I imagined that when she opened FB and saw anything from my news feed, it reminded her of Allie. My guess was that Carrie simply couldn’t take it.

Then, I got a note from Carrie: (removed the real names for privacy)

So, I was correct. Carrie just doesn’t want to see anything that reminds her of Allie who she calls “the woman who ruined my marriage.”

I can’t say that I disagree with Carrie’s sentiment even though I am still married to Allie. A while back, when I found out they were getting divorced, I wrote about what it means to be married to “the other woman.”  Not my “other woman” but “the other woman” to another marriage. (for the record, I don’t have another woman)

It really does bother me that my wife did what she did. I held Allie in such high regard. She’s a Christian, a mom of three sons, and until this affair, had only had sex with one man…….me. What would cause a woman who literally had it all to just say “screw it all, I am doing this”? Even if Allie were single, why would she go after another woman’s wife? There is no future there AND it destroys a family.

Now look, I know that Mike is as much or more at fault than Allie is. Mike ruined their marriage with Allie’s help. But my wife isn’t like that. Or at least I thought……..

When this happens, you pause and say, “who is this person I am married to?”  You know how when someone commits a horrific crime and the news interviews the neighbors? The neighbors are like, “she was a nice person. I would have never imagined them doing something like this.”

That’s how this is. I am married to her. I know her. I know her character and every bit of her background. I married her when she was 24. A virgin strait “A” student. I was with her through grad school. I literally known her since she was about 21 and still so young. Everything we’ve been through would never suggest that she would help ruin another person’s family or marriage……except this is the 2nd time she’s had an affair. And both men were married.

So again, who am I married to?

 

Allie’s first affair

As I was writing my last post a question came to mind, “who am I married to?” Carrie describes Allie as “the woman who ruined my marriage.”

It made me think of the first time Allie had an affair with a married man. His name was Shawn and Allie met him mountain biking in May of 2012.

Back up ONE MONTH from there. We’d just come back from a two-week family vacation in Costa Rica. Spent about $5,000 on that. From Costa Rica, we flew up to South Carolina to celebrate Allie’s Grandmother’s 90th birthday. While there, Allie’s dad was a complete ass-hat to us and we later found out that he was having an affair with a woman he is now married to.

Okay, fast forward. Allie met Shawn on a biking trail in Colorado. She was mountain biking a lot because her friend Gina was really into it. Their mountain biking outings were about 4-5 hours long and I would watch the kids for her so she could get out there and exercise. (this would come back to bite me)

Gina and Allie meet up with Shawn on a trail. He rides with them that day. Of course, Allie is quick to share her phone number with him so that she can invite him to ride again. That’s where it starts. He starts texting her and she “didn’t see it coming.”  Just like with Mark.

He gets so interested in her and they start having meet-ups.  They get physical and emotional, but supposedly didn’t have sex. I wasn’t there, so I can’t be 100% sure that’s true.

The affair ended because I caught her by finding some of the lovey dovey emails they were sending back and forth. Allie had used an old email account that she used to use so that I wouldn’t see the communications. But, like all cheaters, she eventually got caught.