It’s been a long time since I have written on here. Allie remarried last year (2020) to Adam. With her marriage, life has been really great. My kids tell me that the guy is terrific. He’s retired military and and engineer, so he makes a lot of money. He has two kids and they get along great with my kiddos. Life is really terrific.
So why write? Well, I wanted to point something out to anyone who happens to stumble upon this blog. With a narcissist, you can tell a LOT by the people they hang out with.
When Allie had her first affair, she was regularly hanging out with a gal who was actively cheating on her husband. Her name was Nancy. Allie and Nancy were two peas in a pod. They would do “girls nights” and spent a great deal of time together. At that point, I wasn’t aware that Nancy was, in fact, encouraging Allie to meet up with other men. SMDH
Through the years, Allie will idealize someone and befriend them. She does this because that person has something Allie wants. It is a very typical narcissistic trait. What I have noticed is that there is a pattern and I want to point that out to the readers to give you a heads up. If your spouse is hanging out with someone of ill repute, then they may be obsessing over a character trait that person has.
Today, Allie was hanging out with Debra. I have known Debra for just over a year now. I see her out at bars regularly. Debra is married and claims to be a Christian. But when I have seen her out, she will flirt LIKE CRAZY with guys. I was speaking with her one night and she was telling this married dude how hot he was.
I questioned her about it and Debra told me that “her husband let’s her do what she wants.” Now Allie is all chummy with Debra and I am quite sure that Debra has told Allie the same thing.
My counselors, and therapists told me many years ago that Allie will repeat the pattern of cheating. She has no ability to stop herself. It’s almost like she has to. I just hope Adam is prepared for it. I’ve seen this pattern before and it ain’t pretty.