The end of my divorce journey

It has been nearly a year since the discovery of Allie’s affair with Mark. And about five months since she confessed her affair with her boss Derek. As of February 3rd, 2019 we are officially divorced. Eighteen years, lots and lots of history. Living in four different countries, giving birth in three different countries and a life together.

With the divorce, I feel that I have reached the last chapter in this blog’s journey. Not much else to say on here except a few parting thoughts.

First, when my spouse cheated on our marriage and betrayed me by breaking every promise she’d ever made, she chose that by herself. She owns that. Let’s just pretend that our marriage was totally miserable. Well then I was in the same miserable marriage right? And I kept my commitments. I was faithful. I leave with my honor and my dignity.

And if I a gonna be with an immoral woman, then I might as well just be single. Being married is hard. You swallow a lot of shit for the sake of the commitment and for the marriage. I changed drastically to walk on the egg shells she had me on. Nothing seemed good enough and she always wanted more.

Now, I have come to grips with the story. There’s no changing it. No going back. No wondering if I made the right decision. I am 100% satisfied that I chose correctly by going through with divorce from Allie.

My feelings are expressed. My heart was laid to bare. It helped to write this. Hurt to write it. I have sobbed through some of these entries.

Now, I am done. I don’t have tears any longer and can hardly believe that she’s the same person I fell in love with and loved for nearly 20 years. But it is over now, I am looking forward. Moving on. Living my own dreams. Loving my sons. And growing myself into new and different places.

The healing that has taken place over the last year changed me. Quite possibly I will live my days as a single man. Content to do my things, hang out with my friends, sing karaoke, drink a cider every once in a while and date as it happens.

That being said, I think I will stop writing on this site and move to my new interests. This has been healing. This has been comfort. This has been a place to let it all out.

 

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