When a cheating wife moves on quickly

I have read thousands of men’s stories about their cheating ex-wives. And in the majority of the stories, the women move on VERY quickly into other relationships.  I addressed this question with my friend Molly.

I asked her “doesn’t anyone think it’s strange that she moved on to another serious relationship within 30 days of me moving out?”

Below are some chunks of the conversation between me and Molly about women moving on. I think it may help some men out there who struggle with this very same question.

MOLLY: It is weird but not super unusual. Very unhealthy. But very simple. She can’t sit with what she’s done. She can’t peel her onion. So she’s just out there adding more layers.   I think that the great majority of humans turn to their addiction when life gets hard.  Men are simply her ADDICTION. Her weakness. It’s not about you. It’s just the thing that makes her feel okay.

It’s perfect that this guy’s long distance. This guy can only ever know the pieces of her she chooses to share.

Also, she wants to hurt you and this is such a good way to do that.

ME: Yeah, she actually said that because he’s far away she can continue to heal.

MOLLY: Not really. Because he’s still there. On the phone, etc. But I guess it depends on how she uses him. She isn’t sitting still. She’s not facing herself and what she is capable of doing.  We all get lost. It’s a good thing to see ourselves and recognize that we are capable of hurting others. And dealing with that capability in the most compassionate way possible.

People have two choices when faced with themselves. Go through it or escape. Dark moments come. You can run and hide from the darkness. Or you can wake up and walk through it. Many people run and hide. Lie, cheat, steal, drugs, alcohol, porn. But YOU choose to go through it. And that takes courage. And you will be rewarded.

ME: She thrives on forgiveness. She simply loves to be forgiven.

MOLLY: “forgiveness” is her mantra because she is comforted in knowing her behavior has been excused and she is still worthy. Cognitive dissonance.

If you can’t correct your behavior, then your only choice is to GET forgiven. If you can’t force that forgiveness and you can’t correct your behavior, you seek revenge…….or you self-destruct. She is choosing to seek revenge but it will lead to self-destruction.

She tries to get forgiveness from you, but it’s sneaky. Because she is manipulative. She knows she won’t change but wants to be excused from her bad behaviors.

And it won’t change with any guy she’s with.

ME: I don’t believe she’ll change. She just loves falling “in love” and finding her “soul mate.”  She’s had three soul mates within the last year. LOL!

MOLLY:  It’s very lonely and painful with brief moments of bliss. The bliss is getting someone to “fall in love.” But it’s not that hard to get a middle aged dude to think he’s fallen in love with you. Easy target. What a sucker! And we women know EXACTLY what to do, how to act, what to say.

Read that last line again: “And we women know EXACTLY what to do, how to act, what to say. “

Molly is spelling it out for us guys!  They KNOW what to do to make us fall for them. They use our own fantasies, dreams, insecurities, faults, passions, and goals to mimic exactly how to act to get us to fall for them. The more you share, the more ammo they have.

If you fish, suddenly she loves to fish. Watch football? she’s studying plays and schemes. Do you love camping? Wow she does too. Are you afraid of women because your last one cheated? She is an angel and would NEVER do that.

Do you want a highly sexual partner? She will become that…….until she doesn’t have to.

You see, women move on quickly because they are well-versed in making men fall. They also need the validation that they are “okay” even though they are doing shitty things. Betraying people. Complaining about people they supposedly love, and back-stabbing. But if someone “loves” them, and forgives them, then their behavior is excused.

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