Brains are amazing organs. The brain is constantly attempting to resolve things. Literally, your brain is processing thousands of things every second. From things you hear, things you see, things you touch or experience. Your brain processes and resolves millions of “items” every single day.
In affairs, there is no good answer. What answer would be “good enough” to satisfy your brain if you’ve been cheated on? I have explored these reasons before. And literally no one could ever give me a reason.
As a matter of fact, I reached out to one of our marriage counselors. I asked them about how you would ever know. Our counselors are a husband/wife team. They’ve been married for 30+ years. The husband of the team cheated on his wife for the first 10 years of their marriage. The wife (the one I texted today) said to me that you literally will never know. You will never comprehend the “why” behind a spouse cheating. I mean there’s the reasons like a one night stand, etc. I get it that shit happens. But even then, if you truly love someone you won’t do it. At least that’s what my brain tells me.
Her advice today was that I have to accept it and find healing in that acceptance. I have sadness, trauma, anger and betrayal to deal with. But she assures me that it’s worth the fight. Not worth the fight for me. I will divorce Allie once she agrees…