The approval drug

By now, if you’ve read this entire blog, you know that I am divorced from Allie. Allie had three affairs that I know of and our divorce was final in February of 2019.

Lately, I have been very kind to her in our email correspondence and in person. I usually don’t interact with her very much during kid exchanges. Since two of our children are teens, it is easy just to drop them at her place or call them and not see her at all.

However, one of our kids plays sports and we sometimes run into each other on the sidelines. So, I have decided just to be as nice as possible when I have to interact with her. Partly because it helps our sons when we are kind to one another.

The other day during a pick-up at her house, I was waiting in my car for our three sons to come out. We have them 50/50 and have several exchanges weekly. This particular morning my youngest was taking his time eating and they weren’t coming out.

Allie recently bought a new home (and I was the Realtor on the deal) and I have never seen it. So, I went to the door, knocked, and asked Allie if I could see her new place. She agreed and she showed me around. She kind of followed me like a puppy and as I would say things like “wow, your place is really nice,” and “I like how you built the fire pit” and “I like the stone on your fireplace” she would look at me in this way. I can only describe the look as a dog would look at bacon. Her need for attention and approval – especially male attention and approval – was so evident that morning.

It makes me sad for her and for her new boyfriend. His name is Adam and apparently they started dating exclusively about 17 days after I moved out. LOL! Adam has no idea what’s gonna hit him. He’s in for it once she starts to believe that she needs more male attention and approval. She already did it to me the other day and at the beginning of hers and Adam’s relationship.

It is like a drug to her. She HAS to have it at any cost.

Allie is remarried

So a couple of weeks ago Allie married Adam. She said she was exclusive with him right at 17 days after I moved out of the house. Since Allie is super into Crossfit, she had a weightlifting competition at their wedding.

So far, I haven’t met Adam. Our sons tell me that he’s nice. He has two sons as well and they are here with them for the summer. My sons are getting along with them too.

So, all is well right now.

As for me, I have totally moved on. I simply don’t think about her, the marriage, or the pain anymore. I have been seeing a terrific woman and life is great.