I knew it – Yet another affair

I said that Allie and I were staying together in one of my posts. Less than one week ago, I was still working towards that potential with her. We had a great forgiveness and counseling session last Friday and I began to feel like she was really being sincere. I felt a humble compassion and love for her as we left the session. I felt hope.

We even went last Sunday to look at houses together. Starting to dream again. It was a relief because since finding out about her affair with Mark nearly six months ago, I have not been able to daydream or plan any sort of future with her. My mind just simply wouldn’t go there. So, Sunday we both had a great day as we started dreaming again. It felt nice. Almost serene.

The next morning, on Labor Day Monday, I opened her phone and saw a text she sent to her boss Derek. It was on August 20th while I was visiting a friend in New Jersey. The text was off color for something that you would send to the guy you work for.  Not flirty, just outside of professional context.

Rewind to last year.  I noticed some texts to Derek last September-ish which were flirty and attention-seeking from Kelli to him. I questioned her about them and she got defensive, but a few hours later apologized saying that I was right and that she had been seeking attention from him.  She claimed it was because of her being new at her job. She promised that there was nothing there and that it was wrong. (Stupid me believed her)

Over the course of this past year, I have probably revisited the question of anything between her and Derek two or three times. She always adamantly maintained that there wasn’t.

So on this past Labor Day (2018), I saw that text to him and asked her again, “Did something happen with Derek.”  She said “no.”

I headed out to my workout class and she called twice in the five minute drive, so I picked up. She told me over the phone that she and Derek did in fact kiss. I skipped my workout and came home. When I got home, the story grew more and now they’ve not only kissed but had met several times in his clinic. She maintains now that they were physical but didn’t have sex.  Only the two of them know the real truth.

She said that she was infatuated with him because he was nice.

Finding out about yet another affair is the knockout punch for me. Any small spark of hope was extinguished with this new discovery. She says that the two affairs meant the same thing, but to me they don’t. They are simply more and more times where she chose betrayal over loyalty. Lying over honesty.

The affair with Derek was about four months long (according to her) while the affair with Mark was two months. So, literally since we moved into this house, she has been in an affair, hiding an affair, been in another affair, and now recovering from the affairs. Over a year now of not “normal” in this home.

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