Dear Mark

Dear Mark,

It is Sunday, March 25th. Exactly 5 days after I found out about the two of you cheating. Last Sunday at this time, everything was going okay in my family. We were probably grabbing some leftovers, maybe watching a movie that evening, and making some popcorn. I am so used to being with my boys and they’ve never seen me go to a job in their lives. I work from home to be with them. I love my wife; contrary to your belief.

I don’t know what drives a person – two people – in this case, to put a few moments of sex above all else. Sex is so short compared to the rest of our existence here on earth. Meaningless really. While I don’t know exactly how many times you two had sex, I have heard that it was three or four. Let’s take four as an example.

If it was four, then we’re looking at 1-2 hours tops of time actually having sex. So for 1-2 hours of building up your fragile egos, you two destroyed 38 years of marriage. Twenty for you and 18 for us. I can imagine that Carrie is shattered. Even if she puts on a happy face, she is devastated inside. How could she not be? She committed her life, her body, her everything to you and you decided to bed another man’s wife.

I was with Allie right out of grad school. She is a kind and loving person. She has a winning personality. But more than that, we’ve been through 18 years of really great and really challenging times. I have been there for my three sons’ births which happened in three different countries. I nearly delivered my three-year old as he exited Allie’s body — the one you so happily got yourself off with.

Maybe you don’t realize that there are 9 other people involved directly in this. My three kids. Your four kids. Your wife. Me. Nine lives that you gave no consideration to as you wooed her into the back seat of her car, called her, texted her, flirted with her and screwed her.

You have no investment in my family.  I have everything invested in them. You have no love for any of them.  I would die for each and every one of them, including Allie. I did die. I died Tuesday morning. After finding out that she’d been having sex with another man.

Since this is the second time it’s happened, I was a bit more emotionally prepared for it. I have only spent hours balled up on the floor crying.  I am sobbing at the loss that you have perpetuated on my family. I cry for all of the investment we’ve made in building our lives that was stolen from me for a couple of hours of you two getting your thrills.

It isn’t the sex for me. I have had lots of sex in my life prior to my wife. But when I met her almost 20 years ago, everything changed. I fell in love with her from the first moment I saw her and I have loved her ever since. I won’t ever stop loving her.

Your two daughters could very well have daddy issues from this. Your two sons could have latent intimacy issues that only show up later in life when they’re in a romantic relationship.

Real men don’t throw away families in the blink of an eye. The adult thing to have done would have been to go to your wife and ask for a divorce PRIOR to sneaking around. But you have no honor. The brave thing to do would have been to communicate with your bride about the temptations you were having. But you’re a coward. The man-like thing to do would have been to treat my bride, my wife with respect and honor. Instead you snuck around like a rat in a sewer. The husband thing to do would be to honor your commitment to your wife Carrie. I have only met her once, but she seems like a beautiful woman inside and out. I hated being the one that had to break the news that her husband was a cheating coward. But I knew from your texts to me that you would chicken out on that.

I hope you got the worth you were looking for. I hope that you get more than just bragging rights that you were able to convince my wife to sleep with you. Great job. Was it worth utterly destroying your wife’s confidence? Was it worth harming your kids’ future & their emotions? Was it worth your future reputation? Seriously? Two hours of excitement and validation? You’d have been better off hiring a prostitute. I would have cost a lot less.

Now, my life is in shambles. I am completely broken inside. The woman I love has given herself over to the one thing that would tear down everything we’ve built. In an instant, it is gone. I will forever have to explain to my sons what happened. I will forever have to question her.

They say it takes two people to make a marriage work. In this case, two people, caused irreparable harm to nine others. It only took one out of each marriage to destroy what was built. I hope that makes you proud.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *