I was talking with a friend of ours who lives in North Carolina. She and her hubby walked through Allie’s first affair in 2012. They are walking through this one with us again. The wife, Marissa, is a counselor and the husband, David, a pastor.
Marissa has spent WAY more time with me for this affair than the last. We talk on the phone and text to help me process the myriad of emotions I am experiencing.
I was talking with Marissa briefly after my therapy yesterday. I was on my way to dinner with Allie and our kids. As we spoke, I told her about how the therapist said that Allie has to know that there are no third chances. It is automatic divorce if she goes outside of our marriage again. We haven’t really had that conversation. Sure, it’s probably understood, but we need to set that boundary and make sure it is completely understood.
As I spoke with Marissa, I realized that I wasn’t 100% on that boundary. I mean, I set that boundary after the first affair and look at me. I am still here. A doormat?
Marissa said that if it happens again, she and David are flying out to Idaho and they will pin me down, hog tie me, and kidnap me to drag me away from her. Sometimes you need friends like that who can help you out of something that you’re having a hard time freeing yourself from.