I am staying in my marriage with Allie for now, even though she was having an affair with a married man in Jan, Feb and March of 2018. But I don’t feel comfortable with her and I sure as hell don’t trust her. Even though she is very remorseful and is taking sole responsibility for her actions, this is the second affair in six years.
This time, in an effort to make me more comfortable, she is offering some financial protection for me. You see, both of us are business owners. My business makes more money than hers and has an unlimited upside potential. Hers caps at a certain amount each year. Mind you, she makes great money so she won’t be hurting financially. More than $100k working four days per week.
So, she offered me a post-nuptial agreement. Basically she is willing to sign a contract saying that if we get divorced, she gets nothing from my business other than her half of the original investment. Basically, she’ll get $30k if we divorce.
The agreement is ONLY for finances and doesn’t address custody. But we may go ahead and add that in at 50/50 or joint custody. Our State makes us take a “parenting class” if we divorce too.
So, for now, I am with her. I am choosing to believe the best possible outcome. Which is still shitty. But it’s an outcome that doesn’t seem to screw up our kids as much. I know, I know. Don’t just stay for the kids. I am not. But they are a HUGE factor of why I am still around. The statistics and the devastation caused by divorce for kids are frightening. Basically, Allie left me with two choices:
- Divorce her and do irreparable harm to our kids.
- Stay with her and have a daily mind fuck knowing what she did (and could easily do again)
The post-nuptial agreement does help because it gets rid of the financial risk of divorce later in life. If my business gets to the $500,000 annual revenue mark, I will know that she gets none of that. That’s a big deal to me. It also has her putting her money where her mouth is so to speak. Basically saying “if you’re so committed, then prove it.”
She is willing, but we haven’t signed the papers yet.